Ouroboros

“The secrets of alchemy exist to transform mortals from a state of suffering and ignorance to a state of enlightenment and bliss.” 
                   ― Deepak Chopra


...I can't breathe and I close my eyes.

Normally darkness is suffocating, but now it comforts me. Smells and sounds explode in the haze of my surrendered senses. If only they quieted my thoughts. a gasp of air and my lungs try to regain normalcy. Instead they sink through my stomach, or where it was before this hole took hold of me. Burning, searing pain of breath like fumes or smoke, staining and darkening my source of life. I cover my face and choke and struggle and gasp and try to find the light again.

I close my eyes and I can't breathe.

I reach out and feel, and try to feel, for something. For help. I fear what will be revealed when I open again. What tricks and cruel jokes have been set, and laid for me. What unexpected turns and walls; obstacles created, set in place for tests and grades and coming out better than I went in. What challenges I won't meet. What expectations I will fail. What hopes and opportunities I will shrink from.  How can I rise and reach into dark skies and unknown futures?

I can't breathe and I close my eyes...